Talking about what we feel seems simple.

But when the moment comes, words get stuck.
We swallow the pain.
We simplify sadness.
We joke about our own anguish.
We say “I’m fine” when, in fact, we’re not.
This happens to more people than you might imagine — especially those who live outside their home country, far from family, emotional references, and the language that has always held their emotions.
But after all… why is it so hard to put into words what is happening inside us?

1. Because feelings don’t come with captions

Feeling is chaotic.
It’s confusing.
Sometimes it hurts for no reason. Sometimes it weighs without explanation.
And the truth is that, many times, we ourselves don’t know exactly what is happening inside us.
It’s like trying to explain a movie you are still watching.
Putting this into words requires time, courage, and — above all — listening.

2. Because we learned not to be a burden

From an early age, many of us learned that feeling “too much” is a problem.
We learned to:
not complain,
not cry,
not show,
not need.
And when we feel something intense, our first reaction is to hide it.
Swallow it.
Say it’s nothing.
Talking about what we feel requires breaking these old defenses — and that is not always easy.

3. Because we didn’t always have someone who truly listened

The difficulty in speaking often comes from the lack of an environment where our emotions were welcomed.
If, for most of your life, you had to be strong, independent, resilient…
How, now, do you allow someone to see your vulnerabilities?
It’s not a lack of willingness.
It’s protection.

4. For those who live abroad, there is an extra challenge: language

Your native language is not just communication.
It is affection.
It is memory.
It is body.
When you live in another country, you often can’t find enough — or precise — words in the new language to talk about pain, longing, loneliness, anxiety.
Trying to name emotions in another language can be like trying to hug someone while wearing thick gloves: you reach them, but you don’t fully feel it.
That’s why so many Brazilians abroad say:
“I can only talk about myself in Portuguese.”

5. Because talking about what we feel exposes us — and that’s scary

Talking about what hurts opens space for something inside us to move.
And change is frightening.
Sometimes it’s easier to keep carrying everything alone than to admit that we are hurt, lost, or tired.
Feelings expose us.
And exposure, for many, has always been a risk.

6. Because part of us wants to be seen — and another part wants to hide

This is one of the most human reasons of all.
There is a part of us that longs to be recognized, understood, welcomed.
But there is another part that fears judgment, rejection, abandonment.
And these two parts — desire and fear — live inside the same heart.
Talking about what we feel is the meeting point between them.

Conclusion: speaking is difficult, but it transforms

When you find a space where you can speak without being interrupted, judged, or corrected…
When you speak in the language in which your soul learned to feel…
When your emotions find someone who truly listens…
Words stop being a threat and become a path.
A path to relief, understanding, reorganization.
A path to feeling less alone.
A path to existing more fully.
If you find it difficult to talk about what’s going on inside, it may simply be because you never had enough space for it.

👉 Psychoanalysis can be that place — safe, human, and in Portuguese — for those living abroad who finally need to put words to what they feel.
When it makes sense, we can talk.